Guns kill people...not!!!

NoncomRetired · 03-02-2013, 09:13 PM

Warning!!! This is satire

Today I swung my front door wide open and placed my Stevens 320 shotgun right in the doorway.

I gave it 6 shells, and noticing that it had no legs, even placed it in my wheelchair to help it get around.

I then left it alone and went about my business.

While I was gone, the mailman delivered my mail, the neighbor boy across the street mowed the yard,

a girl walked her dog down the street, and quite a few cars stopped at the stop sign right in front of our house.

After about an hour, I checked on the gun. It was still sitting there in the wheelchair, right where I had left it.

It hadn't rolled itself outside. It certainly hadn't killed anyone, even with the numerous opportunities it had been
presented to do so. In fact, it hadn't even loaded itself.

Well you can imagine my surprise, with all the media hype about how dangerous guns are and how they kill
people. Either the media is wrong, and it's the misuse of guns by PEOPLE that kills people,

or I'm in possession of the laziest gun in the world.

Alright, well I'm off to check on my spoons. I hear they're making people fat.

Michael Zeleny · 03-03-2013, 12:28 AM

A great argument for leaving your gun unattended out in the open. Not.

NoncomRetired · 03-03-2013, 08:35 AM

I guess that's the difference from living in LA and in my county where they pump sunshine in and moonshine out. If I were that individual, I would have not worried one bit, my neighbor would have blown the head off of anyone walking up to take my unattended gun.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Michael Zeleny

A great argument for leaving your gun unattended out in the open. Not.

Michael Zeleny · 03-03-2013, 12:34 PM

Keep making this argument if you want criminal sanctions for unsafe storage of firearms, as we get in California.

NoncomRetired · 03-03-2013, 12:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Michael Zeleny

Keep making this argument if you want criminal sanctions for unsafe storage of firearms, as we get in California.

For Christ's sake...can't you see satire when it's right in front of you??????? It was a humorous analogy.

It wasn't about proper storage but about 'guns kill people'.

I'm glad some seen the humour in it. GEEEEZ!!! In any case, I went back and notated the OP as satire.

Curly1 · 03-03-2013, 01:19 PM

Yea I got it no problem

MikeP · 03-03-2013, 02:54 PM

I live in rural Illinois-my neighbor would need a bit more incentive to actually blow off somebody's head.
Not to mention legal circumstances.
Thankful for that.

NoncomRetired · 03-03-2013, 03:07 PM

Question, do you have railroad tracks in your county?

Quote:

Originally Posted by MikeP

I live in rural Illinois-my neighbor would need a bit more incentive to actually blow off somebody's head.
Not to mention legal circumstances.
Thankful for that.

03-02-2013, 09:13 PM	#1
NoncomRetired Lifer Lifetime Forum Patron Join Date: Dec 2012 Posts: 719 Thanks: 144 Thanked 306 Times in 146 Posts	Guns kill people...not!!! Warning!!! This is satire Today I swung my front door wide open and placed my Stevens 320 shotgun right in the doorway. I gave it 6 shells, and noticing that it had no legs, even placed it in my wheelchair to help it get around. I then left it alone and went about my business. While I was gone, the mailman delivered my mail, the neighbor boy across the street mowed the yard, a girl walked her dog down the street, and quite a few cars stopped at the stop sign right in front of our house. After about an hour, I checked on the gun. It was still sitting there in the wheelchair, right where I had left it. It hadn't rolled itself outside. It certainly hadn't killed anyone, even with the numerous opportunities it had been presented to do so. In fact, it hadn't even loaded itself. Well you can imagine my surprise, with all the media hype about how dangerous guns are and how they kill people. Either the media is wrong, and it's the misuse of guns by PEOPLE that kills people, or I'm in possession of the laziest gun in the world. Alright, well I'm off to check on my spoons. I hear they're making people fat.

03-03-2013, 12:28 AM	#2
Michael Zeleny Patron LugerForum Patron Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Los Angeles Posts: 525 Thanks: 129 Thanked 139 Times in 76 Posts	A great argument for leaving your gun unattended out in the open. Not. __________________ Michael Zeleny@post.harvard.edu -- http://larvatus.livejournal.com/ -- 7576 Willow Glen Road, Los Angeles, CA 90046 -- 323.363.1860 All of old. Nothing else ever. Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better. -- Samuel Beckett

03-03-2013, 12:34 PM	#4
Michael Zeleny Patron LugerForum Patron Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Los Angeles Posts: 525 Thanks: 129 Thanked 139 Times in 76 Posts	Keep making this argument if you want criminal sanctions for unsafe storage of firearms, as we get in California. __________________ Michael Zeleny@post.harvard.edu -- http://larvatus.livejournal.com/ -- 7576 Willow Glen Road, Los Angeles, CA 90046 -- 323.363.1860 All of old. Nothing else ever. Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better. -- Samuel Beckett

03-03-2013, 01:19 PM	#6
Curly1 User Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: Upstate New York Posts: 1,234 Thanks: 116 Thanked 706 Times in 368 Posts	Yea I got it no problem __________________ Laugh hard and often. Gary

03-03-2013, 02:54 PM	#7
MikeP User Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: ILL Posts: 686 Thanks: 36 Thanked 452 Times in 198 Posts	I live in rural Illinois-my neighbor would need a bit more incentive to actually blow off somebody's head. Not to mention legal circumstances. Thankful for that.