A Happy Thanksgiving to all that celebrate it.....

John D. · 11-23-2004, 08:42 PM

A lot of you are leaving to visit family and friends over the next day - so I figured I'd post this tonight.....

Have a wonderful, safe and blessed Thanksgiving!!!

And remember..... (copious re-writes here)

If you are having the family back to your house for a Turkey dinner - you are free to plan as I do.....

For example, the way I see it - an average male at 200 lbs. eats about 2 lbs of Turkey (women eat less - so you should be good there...). So - if you have 10 guests plus you and your wife - that's 12(guests)x2(lbsofmeat)x200(lbsperperson) - which I think is about a 4,000 lb Turkey. You should be good to go - after you find that 4000 pound bird........

TIP: - Turkey is best fresh. So if you buy your 4000 lb bird today - you'll have to feed it about 200 lbs of grain per day - 'till you whack it with an axe in the neck on Thursday morning. I saw it on Martha Stewart that an axe is the best way to dispatch a Turkey. This year - I have no idea how Martha will dispatch it - as I'm pretty sure she can't go wielding an axe or anything (or so I was informed by an insider...).

TIP: - If you opt for a frozen Turkey - well - you'll still need about 4000 lbs of bird, but - to test for freshness - shoot your Luger at the frozen Turkey at - oh - about 10 yards at your local range. If the bullet penetrates to the giblets - it's good to go - and OK to eat. If not - return it to the store and ask for an exchange. Do this until 1) you have a bird where a bullet can pass cleanly through the meat and into the giblets - or - 2) the store runs out of Turkey.

TIP: - Preparation is key. Remember, the center of the bird must be cooked through. A handy way to tell is if the bullet you shot in the above step begins to melt. When it does - it's done. Don't count on the "pop-up" things to work - ours never do, but you may be lucky - and your bird's thingy actually pops out. If it does - take pictures - as I've never seen a bird's thingy popped out, cooked or uncooked, but since this is a "G" rated forum, I won't go there....

And finally - Thanksgiving only comes once per year, so posts like this only come once a year as well. For that - you should be thankful....

I know I am.. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="wink.gif" />

Best to all Ã¢?? and a wonderful thanksgiving holiday to allÃ¢?Â¦..

John D.

11-23-2004, 08:42 PM	#1
John D. Administrator & Site Owner LugerForum Patron Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: A Little NE of Somewhere... Posts: 2,651 Thanks: 478 Thanked 517 Times in 129 Posts	A Happy Thanksgiving to all that celebrate it..... A lot of you are leaving to visit family and friends over the next day - so I figured I'd post this tonight..... Have a wonderful, safe and blessed Thanksgiving!!! And remember..... (copious re-writes here) If you are having the family back to your house for a Turkey dinner - you are free to plan as I do..... For example, the way I see it - an average male at 200 lbs. eats about 2 lbs of Turkey (women eat less - so you should be good there...). So - if you have 10 guests plus you and your wife - that's 12(guests)x2(lbsofmeat)x200(lbsperperson) - which I think is about a 4,000 lb Turkey. You should be good to go - after you find that 4000 pound bird........ TIP: - Turkey is best fresh. So if you buy your 4000 lb bird today - you'll have to feed it about 200 lbs of grain per day - 'till you whack it with an axe in the neck on Thursday morning. I saw it on Martha Stewart that an axe is the best way to dispatch a Turkey. This year - I have no idea how Martha will dispatch it - as I'm pretty sure she can't go wielding an axe or anything (or so I was informed by an insider...). TIP: - If you opt for a frozen Turkey - well - you'll still need about 4000 lbs of bird, but - to test for freshness - shoot your Luger at the frozen Turkey at - oh - about 10 yards at your local range. If the bullet penetrates to the giblets - it's good to go - and OK to eat. If not - return it to the store and ask for an exchange. Do this until 1) you have a bird where a bullet can pass cleanly through the meat and into the giblets - or - 2) the store runs out of Turkey. TIP: - Preparation is key. Remember, the center of the bird must be cooked through. A handy way to tell is if the bullet you shot in the above step begins to melt. When it does - it's done. Don't count on the "pop-up" things to work - ours never do, but you may be lucky - and your bird's thingy actually pops out. If it does - take pictures - as I've never seen a bird's thingy popped out, cooked or uncooked, but since this is a "G" rated forum, I won't go there.... And finally - Thanksgiving only comes once per year, so posts like this only come once a year as well. For that - you should be thankful.... I know I am.. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="wink.gif" /> Best to all Ã¢?? and a wonderful thanksgiving holiday to allÃ¢?Â¦.. John D.