OMG!!! My sordid secrets revealed!!!

[sheepherder]

Yay!!! I just got a call from Publisher's Clearing House; I'm a winner!!! The call said after years of submitting entries I've finally been selected to receive the prize! All I have to do is push 1 to be connected to Mr XXX XXXXX of the prize department to finalize arrangements for my prize!

Oh, this is wonderful! My medical bills are piling up, my car needs a new exhaust, the Corvette won't start, my lawn needs mowing, Bank America has a hold on my credit card, my newly-installed Leaf Filter is clogged, there's a bee nest under my back doorway and they've nailed me several times. Women don't want to be with me, men don't want to be me...My life has been a disaster...

But now that's all in the past! I'm rich!!! I'll buy a new home, bulldoze this one, donate a couple hundred to hurricane relief and just spend the rest foolishly!!!

What a great day! And not even my birthday yet!

But I do have to wonder how they found me...I've never filled out a PCH entry in my life...