Most steamed Tac,
I type these words with heavy heart, for alas! there is no paper left dry enough in New Orleans upon which to transcribe the requested receipt!
As tears of woe fall upon my keyboard, I must also inform you that it will be impossible to post the desired Lox, as there have been no Salmon in the Gulf Of Mexico since the approximate time that your exalted family had to flee Burgandy.
However, I do believe that there may be a few lbs of that south Louisiana delicacy known as "Mudcat" available. Unfortunately, these poor creatures are addicted to fresh water, and the recent importation of salt water into Lake Ponchatrain was their undoing. These have been carefully sun dried on the streets and sidewalks of New Orleans since the water receded, and are now in a state of preservation that makes them suitable for shipment in ziplock bags.
yr obdt servt,
The Armadillo
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TRUMP FOR PREZ IN '20!
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