The 9 mm has a greater impulse than the 7.65, but not by much. Going from a 4 inch to a six inch barrel will result in slightly greater velocity and hence slightly greater impulse but this is off set by the heavier barrel and tends to cancel.
In practice, subjective differences in felt recoil are often much greater than objective measured differences. And often in the opposite direction.
I have a Winchester M1984 in 32 Special that kicks rather severely due to a poorly designed stock. I have a William Evans 400-360 that by any objective measured standard recoils much more than the Winchester but feels like less because it has a well designed stock. It throws a bullet of almost twice the weight of the 32 Special.
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