Very funny John. Here's a few that relate to firearms.
MINT CONDITION - Condition as manufactured, with all original finish.
MINTY CONDITION - As above, except for a few areas of deep pits.
ACTION NEEDS TUNING - Internal parts broken or missing; will never function as it should.
A LITTLE ROUGH - Vaguely resembles a gun.
GOOD FOR ITS AGE - NRA poor to awful.
$350 VALUE FOR ONLY $250 - Now only twice what it's worth.
GENUINELY OLD - Assembled in the Far East before 1980.
MUCH ORIGINAL FINISH - In the deeper crevices.
SOME ORIGINAL FINISH - Under the grips.
SHOWS HONEST WEAR - Used as a hammer by an early settler.
VERY GOOD BORE - Traces of rifling among the pits.
GOOD BORE - Pits form a spiral.
FAIR BORE - You can see light through it.
POOR BORE - You can't see light through it.
NEEDS A LITTLE WORK - Beyond repair.
TIGHT - Thanks to epoxy cement.
HAIRLINE CRACK - You can see light through it.
SMALL CHIP OUT OF STOCK - Enough wood missing to cook a campfire meal.
NICE PATINA - Solid coat of rust.
SOME WOOD REPAIR - Stock replaced.
REPRESENTATIVE PIECE - Still resembles a gun.
GOOD SHOOTER - For the suicidal.
PRE-REVOLUTIONARY - Made before some revolution, but not the American.
PROBABLY CONFEDERATE - Probably not.
NAVAL VARIATION - From a Portsmouth or San Diego pawn shop.
WORN FINISH - Markings gone.
NEEDS TIGHTENING - Everything's loose.
SOME PARTS REPLACED - Some may be original.
ARMORY RECONDITIONED - Belt sander special.
ALL NUMBERS MATCH - They didn't used to, but they do now.
REASONABLE OFFERS CONSIDERED - I'm desperate.
From the 5th Edition Gun Collector's Digest
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Bill Lyon
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