David,
It's because I have dedicated my life to being a "Gun Bum". One of these days I'll be one of those old Geezers with two pounds of greasy dirt ground into their jeans, cigar stained teeth and reeking of stale urine, but "By Gar" I'll have some neat guns to trade for food.
Gotta go. My wife wants me to take a shower and change my underwear..... Now where'd I put them cigars??